i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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