we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
