its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
