i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
