you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There's always time for handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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