I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
