Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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