But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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