It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
