I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
