it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize