I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
