Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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