i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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