we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
