Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
