I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
