another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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