I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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