He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
