Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
