sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
