my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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