I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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