he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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