I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
