he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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