I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
