drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
