I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize