Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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