Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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