the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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