I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
