So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
