Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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