i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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