Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
