And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize