I want to have your abortion
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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