her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
