Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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