my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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