Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
