Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
