I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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