Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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