This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
