her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
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I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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