have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You pole danced in your parka.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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