yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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