I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Will exercising make me less horny?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
