Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm having to shit out rocks
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