took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
