oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
