i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Farmville is her only friend.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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