I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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