I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
