Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
