Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
