please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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