i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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